Get ready, ladies.
- Over here! - Over here!
Any prospects on the horizon, Susan?
Excuse me.
Ma'am, can I get a shot of you with the fellow that caught the garter?
He's right over there.
You two just stand right there.
Move in a little closer, please. And, sir?
Could you hold that garter just a little bit higher?
- I hate these things. - Me too.
And with pantyhose, who needs them anymore?
- I meant, these big formal affairs. - I knew what you meant.
I was just trying to make you laugh. You seem so grim.
- I've heard that said before. - Bruce.
I see you've met Michael's friend Susan.
I have. And if friends are any indication, you've made an excellent choice, Veronica.
Yes, I think number four will be the charm.
I'd have introduced you sooner, but it was so sudden.
A two-week courtship? Why would you call that sudden?
- It was chemistry, Bruce. - Maybe someday it'll happen to you.
Come on, Veronica. You know me.
- I hate slow-dancing. - You might find it useful someday.
Then again, maybe not.
There's my ride. See you, Barb.
You came just at the right time.
For you perhaps, but apparently not for Master Bruce.
Did you hear me? Are you listening?
I said, those four guys we've been looking for just went into that store down there.
I heard you.
That's it? This is all you got? Where's the rest?
There is no more. It was a slow night.
See if he's telling the truth.
You know how.
Now, I got me a hostage...
and we're getting out of here.
I said there were four of them, remember? Four.
- He's acting weird, Alfred. - With him, how does one tell?
Trust me, I know. It's like his mind is somewhere else tonight.
- Where do you suppose he went? - Who knows.
But I'll bet it's real important.
I was so glad you called. I've been thinking about you a lot since the wedding.
- I've been thinking about you too. - Never thought I'd hear from you.
- Why is that? - Aren't you the one who's always so busy?
I guess I did say that, didn't I?
But I have a feeling all that's about to change.
- My favorite. How'd you know? - Lucky guess.
Everything's changed for me these last few weeks.
The pain of my parents' deaths...
it's still there, but it seems smaller.
- And there's a new feeling now. - Which would be?
It's a lightness, a sense that things will work out for the best.
- It's called happiness. - Whatever it is, I like it.
And I know who's responsible for it.
I've asked Susan to marry me. She's accepted.
- She's everything I need. She's perfect. - There's just one problem:
That.
How you gonna keep it from her?
I won't have to.
I always assumed that sooner or later...
the three of you would get all this. Well, it's gonna be sooner.
I'm not going to be Batman anymore.
A toast to Mr. And Mrs. Bruce Wayne.
May you always be as happy as you are right now.
- Hear, hear. - Right on.
It's so much like a fairy tale. Except for one thing.
- What's that? - Veronica.
The person who introduced us didn't show up.
Well, you know Ronnie.
- I give it a month. - You don't think the marriage will last?
Not that. I'm saying he'll have the costume on again in a month.
I don't think so. He's changed.
- Yeah, right. - Anyone can change and settle down.
- Even you. - Don't get your hopes up.
As if.
Where you headed for the honeymoon?
We've chartered a yacht with some other newlyweds. We...
Master Bruce. There's a phone call for you.
- Alfred, it's my wedding day. - It's an emergency. Ms. Vreeland.
Veronica? Is everything all right?
No, it's Michael. Something's wrong! Something terrible!
- What, Veronica? Tell me. - You're not gonna believe me, but...
But what? Hello?
Hello? Veronica!
- What is it? - She's in trouble.
- I know this is our party, but... - She needs you.
You won't mind?
She's your friend. Go.
How'd you get to be so perfect?
- What did you tell him about me? - Nothing. I swear.
Liar!
I wouldn't try it. Latest thing in home security. They'll fry you.
Veronica! It's Bruce!
Veronica!
- How is she? - The doctors hope...
she'll regain consciousness in a few hours. Where have you been?
I was at a meeting. When I came back, the house was in ashes.
- I was afraid that... - I got there just as the fire started.
We were lucky.
Any idea why she called me? Some sort of problem?
- Problem? No, everything was fine. - Well, that's another mystery, then.
- Another? - Investigators think the fire was arson.
- Someone's trying to kill her? - Maybe.
But they're not going to. I've hired some security guards to keep an eye on her.
- I know that'll be a big relief for you. - Yeah.
I'll be calling in soon. Take care of her, Michael.
You two keep tabs on him. I've got a honeymoon cruise to take.
- What are you doing here? - Ivy, I had to talk to you.
You're supposed to be with Vreeland.
Something went wrong. I... I tried to kill her.
Who told you to do that? We were going to wait for the cruise, remember?
Ivy, I didn't mean to jump the gun, but there was no choice.
She was getting suspicious.
- What did she have to be suspicious about? - This.
I'm changing back.
If it's happening to you, it'll happen to the others too.
I don't have as much time as I thought.
What about me? Veronica knows.
Consider this your annulment. Now, come with me.
- Did you see the...? - Yeah. And we've got a boat to catch.
Hey!
I can't move.
That's not all.
Give me your hand. I'll pull us out.
From bad to worse.
Yep, just the way I planned it.
Better hope we can find some more of this stuff. Lots more.
I was always afraid a relationship would require too much time...
and too many compromises. But with Susan, it's all been so effortless.
Same with Marie. I feel like I'm the luckiest man in the world...
every time I look into those great big green eyes of hers.
Christine's eyes are green too.
Never thought I'd find anyone like her.
You see, I'm one of those compulsive types. Everything in its place.
What woman would put up with that?
But Christine got with the program right away.
That's nothing. I hate spending money. Who'd tolerate that?
But Marie squeezes a dime even harder than I do. She's perfect.
Yeah, perfect.
You're awfully quiet, Wayne. Wayne?
Why are you interrogating me like this?
Too much perfection. And too many green eyes.
- What are you talking about? - Let's just say...
I wanna know more about you. Where you came from, your friends, your relatives.
You're just being silly.
You're not leaving this cabin until you tell me.
Well?
What are you?
Why, Bruce, I'm your wife.
This is Poison Ivy's work, isn't it?
She must've grown you in her lab, then coated you with the pheromones she uses.
The pheromones were just to get your attention. After that, it was all me.
The perfect wife. So giving, so understanding.
I should've known. It was too easy.
Relationships aren't supposed to be easy.
Even I know that, and I'm just a vegetable.
Open this door now! How dare you treat your wife this way!
- What's going on? - The seaweed.
I've never seen anything like it.
What is this? Who are you? What do you want?
No time for fighting. No time for anything, in fact.
This ship doesn't have much longer.
Relax, relax. You're not going to drown. Well, not all of you anyway.
As I speak, my seaweed's crushing your hull.
Soon, the cold seawater will hit your hot boiler and:
Now, I know a lot of you are thinking:
"Who's going to take care of my vast industrial complex?"
The answer is:
Your mates. I worked long and hard to create them.
Perfect mates. And soon perfect heirs and heiresses.
Once they have your fortunes, I'll have your fortunes.
- Time to disembark. - So long, cheapskate.
So how's the honeymoon?
Wait. Where's Susan Wayne?
Find her. Now!
Are we just gonna stand here while she does this to us?
Eat trichloroethane, broccoli boy.
Time for a good-night kiss.
So you're here too.
Pucker up.
Kiss this.
We're sinking. Come on.
Go!
Help me!
[ENGLISH]